Fate
by Fuyu no Yoru
Summary: I...can see spirits. Is that so bad? All my life, I've been set aside. All alone. Finally, I found courage to move on, to japan I went. A new life I thought, but maybe its more than bargained for (too much). How can I replace a heavenly being? Crazy! Not just that, a hot god is after me...to bad he's a pervert. And too think I'm falling inlove with him! Someone help me! YAOI


**This is my new story. It's a blend with Japanese gods and tengus and spirits...all the harem of hot guys. A new beginning...a new life...but it's just that..oh no. It's something much more. Even a new job...as a god! A lover and maybe a new happiness that he's been waiting for all his life. Someone to hold his hand and chase his loneliness away. I know not really good at this. I tried my best to find a picture that looked like him but I couldn't. The best thing I could do was find a pic of him when he was young. ****Read and Review.**

* * *

I live in a world with **no colors**. A place where it's always void...and _empty_. The me who've been all _**alone**_…the me who has _**locked**_ himself; the me whose friends aren't supposed to…_exist_...myself, me, I am slowly budding like a new-born flower. I've long since _**forgotten**_ neither the bright sun nor the moon that illuminates my path. I wonder since when did everything seem brighter. The simple things that I no longer pay attention to...or used to...why are they so **blissful**? Little by little, my bleak space seems to light up. Like a dark room slowly lighting up by small flickering candles which turns out to be a bigger space. Tiny fireflies flicker back and forth...showing little by little how big it is actually, a whole forest waiting to be discovered. It's like waking up in a dream; my heart seems to be kindling. When did colors start to paint my blank world? Since when did I open up and let myself feel this warmth again. This feeling...so nostalgic...a feeling that I've forgotten and buried away...a feeling called...**love**. It's too scary to** feel**...I don't want to hurt...but...can I be **selfish** again? Can I hold onto this...**feeling**...? Can I free my **bound heart **and see the vast open sky **once more**? The sky which holds so much...the sky that I used to** smile **to…..

I stretched my back and looked tiredly up to the cloudy sky. Finally, I'll be able to go to Japan! What is the first thing you think of when you hear Japan? Kyoto! It's a city full of stories and old tradition, which seems to hold my destiny. No? Tokyo and anime, you say? No? Yes? Oh well... I'm so excited. I've always dream of going there. I've also always wanted to wear a kimono. I can't believe the time was almost there. I wonder if it was a mistake then...I'm not so sure anymore. I got my wish but...not exactly like this. Either way, I can't go back anymore, not that I want to. Kufu~

I had already packed my things and am ready to go. Aoi Yoru ready and off to go! I exclaimed to myself. I walked to the living room in a happy mood but when I saw my parents my smile quickly turned upside down. "So you're going to Japan, huh? Good for you. You've always been _obsessed_ with oriental stuffs and ghosts...or should I say spirits like you?" My 'mom' snickered in a disgusted yet polite way. "Thank you...mother." I said through my teeth. "Careful out there, Aoi." Dad said. "If you get mugged and are unable to come home...don't expect us to help you. You are already 18. You can look after yourself already." His voice was void of emotion. It's not like this insults are uncommon. Usually it's so much more...I guess they're in a good mood, after all, I'm leaving.I'm used to this already.

But, hell, I'm not even 18...I'm already 20! "Since you said it like that...how about I go live by myself," I spoke with a sneer. "Fine with us, Aoi dear, if that's what makes you happy, of course we _won't_ stop you. If you need money to buy an apartment we'll '**gladly**' give them to you." She purred. You could say we get along well. We know what we want. Anyways, I've stuck with them for so long only so that I could suck money out from them. I've already saved up enough to live alone content and a little more to live comfortably is okay too. "How kind of you guys." I smiled. They smiled in reply. We always try to have a **"happy **_**family**__"_...in the surface. I know what they are thinking, and they know what I was thinking too. Our eyes say it all. _Get out of our lives already, freak. We never wanted you and never will._ They sent, narrowing their eyes. I raised my head, as if I was looking down on them._ I never wanted you guys either and I am more than happy to leave._ The glares that we gave each other seems to electrify by the second.

When I turned my back, that's when they finally dropped their tasteless acting and cursed under breaths. I laughed to myself. I feel the same damn way. It wasn't like this before. We used to be very happy. But everything started to fall apart when I discovered my gifts. I was only 6 then. I didn't know any better. It was a rainy day and a middle age man asked me for directions. Mom, who was with me, looked at me with kindness and asked, "Who are you talking to?" "To this man right here," I replied, looking back to the helpless person. "Where?" She asked again. Mom looked around but said, "I don't see anyone." I thought she was very rude for ignoring someone so I scolded her. I didn't mean to be mean about it. "Mom, didn't you say to be kind to others!?" I fumed. She covered her mouth with her hands. "I'm sorry. I guess this is what they say about kids having an imaginary friend." At that time, I really didn't know yet that the person I saw was a spirit. As time passed by my parents acted along with me, but then it got stranger. Mom took me to a psychiatrist. They said, however, that I was a normal and healthy boy. Finally at 9, they couldn't take it anymore. I remember it so vividly. My mom and I were walking through the park. It was a beautiful day. I was holding Mom's hand, and I looked up hoping to see her smiling and kind face but I didn't. Her face was down, avoiding my innocent stares. "Mom is something wrong?" I asked. Her shoulders trembled. Her hand dropped but I still held on to it. "Noooo!" She screamed. I flinched. "Mom...?" She pushed me aside. "I don't want you as my child! You're not my child!" With that she ran, leaving me on the concrete ground. I was so shocked. I didn't know what was going on but somewhere deep down I realized that she doesn't want me anymore. I realized the feeling of betrayal and abandonment. I didn't know those two words yet but my heart unknowingly welcomed them. It ached and I cried and I cried.

Of all the things, that truly hurt me the most, was when she let go of my hand. I wandered about, trying to catch up to her. The sky darkened and threatened with thunder. Rain splashed down hard against the ground, hitting mercilessly at my soft flesh. In the midst of my cruel journey back home, I found help from some new-found friends. That's when I learned that it's not just humans who can have spirits. I was still young, so of course I didn't knew. They were a spirit of a cute plant like person and a wind like bird person. It's hard to describe. Naru is a plant spirit. His hair is light green with rosy pink at the ends, and it's long and braided, coiled by a vine with flowers. He has pink eyes and a gentle personality. Gou on the other hand is reckless and clumsy but is still quite cute. He has short white hair with green eyes. Also he has these cutest little black wings. Both of them are like chibi people. They are as tall as a pencil, maybe a little taller, and can fit to my hands. They helped me find my way back home.

Continuing, when I got home I heard my parents arguing. I hid behind the living room door. "What were you thinking leaving him behind like that?" Dad scolded. "What will others think?!" "I didn't know what to do...he...I can't anymore. He's not my child. My beautiful child..." She sobbed. "Don't be like that...people will start rumors." She cried and cursed. I took courage and snuck a peek. Dad was hugging her in a safe and warm way. Mom on the other hand was clutching onto his shirt. I bit my lip. They don't need me. They don't want me anymore. Those were my only thoughts. Naru and Gou comforted me. Somehow I knew I couldn't interrupt them, so I walked back outside. The beautiful day has turned into a dark and rainy afternoon. I let the rain soak my already wet skin. And after some time, turned back to the house door. Knock-Knock

You can guess what happened. Mom pretended that she was sorry. Dad acted as if he was about to look for me. From then on Naru and Gou have stayed with me. At that time I thought they were my little angels to help me through. It was when I was 11 when they dropped the act of loving me. That wasn't the only time she or they tried to get rid of me. Many more times, I should say…each time, a little harsher than before. I don't know why I've stuck myself with them for so long. Oh well, it's all in the past.

I walked out to have a stroll around the neighborhood. Somehow I felt like I won't see the familiar spirits again, so I said goodbye. To those who will seek help, to the future spirits, I wrote an invisible letter to every corner block. Rain water and a little drop of blood seem to be a neat little trick to make invisible letters. It was an accidental but it was beneficial. Tomorrow I'll leave this world of lies. "To spirits who need help, call this number. xxx-xxx-xxx. You can use the phone booths anywhere but only in rainy days." I don't know why everything seems to happen when it rains. "You think that will really work?" Gou asked me. I nodded. What? It's not just me who can see or sense spirits. There's actually an organization for them. But they're not in this story...perhaps I'll tell you about them sometime. In these past years, my little spirits have grown. Not really by height but they have a more mature look, how should I put it. They have aged, I'm sure. "Gou can you carry the message to the air too?" I asked him. "And Naru...can you put a message in the park too?" They both nodded with a grin and left to do their errand. Gou flew to the sky while Naru road on top of a big sakura petal. "Tomorrow, we will leave." I declared.

The very next day, I left as early as sunrise. Not even bothered to leave a note goodbye. "Aoi," Naru whispered. "I'm not sure about airplanes." "Don't be such a wimp, Naru~ since we're in the air, I'll make sure we have a safe flight." Gou laughed holding a victory sign in his hands. I chuckled at the two. "I'm sure we will be fine, Naru. We'll finally get out of this dump…. They are probably so happy now. Bet they're celebrating. I bet they'll have a banner saying, Congratulations to the day the demon has left our lives!" I giggled in a happy tone. The chibis looked at each other, then back at me. "What?" I asked with a smile. "You shouldn't try so hard. We've been with you for how many years now, 11 years?" The plant spirit stated to me. "You don't have to pretend to be so strong. We know…no matter how hard you try…you still see them as your parents." I gazed at them with cold indifference. "Yeah….parents I can suck out money from." I blinked away the coldness and plastered a happy face. "Don't be such a worry wart. Today, we are finally and forever going away from this hell." As I said that, I hid my face. Those two know me, so very well, so well they read me like colors.

I caught a cab to the airport. It was a long ride, the entire time I was looking outside the window. Gou snuggled inside my jacket while Naru was sleeping on my lap. I picked both of them up and set them both inside my backpack, carefully so I don't wake up anyone of them. I had prepared a comfortable bed inside the bag. Of course it was open some, enough so they can breath and get out. When I arrived at the airport I can't help but feel intimidated. I caught some spirits wondering by, I tried not to pay attention to them…but I couldn't. I saw a little girl who was utterly lost. I wrote the phone number and instructions on a piece of paper in a special pen I made. She saw me holding it and read it. She smiled at me and went to the nearby phone booth. Good thing for her, it's just about to rain.

Gou woke up and climbed back inside my jacked. I zipped the jacket down some so he wouldn't suffocate. "Why do you insist on getting inside my jacket?" I whispered so that no one can hear me. I put headphones on my head so people who might pass by and look will just think I'm whispering the lyrics. "Because you're so warm, plus it's comfortable." He replied with innocent looking eyes. Naru then woke up too. Him on the other hand climbed on top of my shoulder and jumped down to my hood. In a way…you could say they were like pets. A talking one that people can't see and has magic powers. Gou nestled into my jacket and fell back asleep. "Are we waiting to go on board the plane?" The green haired said. "Yeah, don't worry. We have to wait only 45 minutes more."

Rain started to pour and I saw one of **them** pick the little spirit girl up. One of them nodded back at me, I did too. They are those who will help spirits pass on. I met one of them, who so happens to be the young boss and he gave me a number I can contact or give to those who need them. It was handy, because that meant I didn't have to interact with spirits most of the time. I try to not have any sort of relations to the organization too….it's too troublesome. Hey, don't think I'm lazy! If you get to know them you will think the same way.

I closed my eyes and focused on the falling rain. I feel comfort in it. The hypnotic rhythmic lulls me to ease. Then suddenly I heard the announcement to board the plane going to Japan. I got up and walked towards the woman who collects the tickets. I gave her my one way ticket. "Have a safe flight." I nodded. I stepped forward, sealing my fate.

When I reserved my plane ticket, I had reserved myself in first class. There's no way I'm going to crowd myself in the second class section. Not that I'm snobbish, it's just that…when I took a seat in there before…it wasn't very pleasant. A woman was getting up all over my space, batting her eyelashes at me and the there was a kid who was eating candies, who kept touching my face and hair with her sticky hands. There was also a fat dude behind me kicking at my seat. I didn't appreciate that. That flight made me feel like a germ freak because from then on I didn't like anything dirty or out-of-place. If I don't have enough space…I feel like I was going to suffocate. You could say I was a little traumatized.

I slept half of the flight. I didn't really like the attention given to me by the flight attendants though. I felt as if they eyed me the whole flight. Well, I am a good-looking person. I have a long silver hair that hangs loose behind my shoulders, blue eyes that shades the same color as a blue moon, I am tall and slender, but I have one flaw…I look almost feminine. If I dressed like a girl I would look like a handsome woman. I glanced at the little two spirits. I smiled to myself as I looked at their sleeping face. They seem so innocent and serene. Even though I live in America…or used to, I'm thinking of moving to Japan. You know why I have a Japanese name? My silver hair came from my mom's side. My eye color is my own. Most of my features are from my women ancestors. The only thing I got from my dad is his sharp and sarcastic tongue, and maybe the way we… What am I thinking now? Am I missing them? Hell, no! Don't forget what you've been through, Aoi Yoru! I disciplined myself. The only nice person in my family was my grandmother. She was the one who named me. She is half Japanese. When I get to Japan I'll visit her.

"Hey!" A voice surprised me. My head searched for the owner of the voice. Its host was an Asian man. He sat beside me. "You alone?" He asked. I don't know the man yet but I can feel it. I can't trust this man. There's something wrong with him. Sarcastically, I looked around me and said, "No sorry, I'm apparently surrounded by so many people. It's too packed in here." I rolled my eyes at him. He laughed, "Sorry, I was just confirming." "Why? Are you some sort of detective who is undercover that he needs to confirm people's whereabouts and situations?" I spoke coldly. "No…but if it means I can have your name, then I am a detective." He replied. I smiled cheekily at him. "How sweet, you gay or something?" "I am what of it?" He just kept on smiling at me cockily. I grew so frustrated, there's nothing more than I wanted to do than wipe that sneer of his face at that moment. "So, I still haven't caught your name." He said. "If you haven't a name from someone, that means they don't want to give it to you. Also, don't involve yourself with me. You'll regret it." I glared with so much venom. He just smiled like he had done the entire time, completely unfazed. "Cute, my name is Kagame Hiroto. I'm returning home from studying at an international college." I ignored him, but he kept on talking.

"My family is all shrine priests and priestesses. Not all of them but…most of them. It's a family tradition that the eldest will inherit the shrine…but I doubt you will…be interested at this…" He sighed as he spoke. The smile on his face was gone. I looked at him with curiosity now. I'm not interested at the boy but I am interested at shrines and temples. When he noticed me looking he grinned again. "You..." "Tell me more about shrines and the duties there. What do the priests and priestesses do?" I cut him short. He searched my unreadable eyes for a moment before speaking. "You're interested in this kind of things?" He asked. "What's wrong with it? That's my reason for going to Japan." I stated. Naru poked me. I looked at him questioningly. "A-ma…" He whispered. 'What is it?' I mouthed to him. "I'm hungry." I nodded. I searched the bag pockets and took a calorie bar. It should be efficient for now. Gou and he shared the fiber bar. "Umm…" Hiroto spoke. I gazed at him with indifference. He shook his head. "I guess I'm boring you?" He asked like it was hard to figure out. "Yeah," I replied ever so bluntly with no hesitation. He laughed bitterly. Hiroto then gazed at me like I was a big obstacle he's going take for a challenge. With determined eyes he got up. "Looks like we've arrived, let's go grab a drink." He said like we will do that and not a question.

As soon as I got off the plane I headed for my suitcase and other luggage. I took cuts between people and feints round groups to get him of my back. He tried his best but he lost me sooner than I expected. There were so many people. Strange people that I never met before, many faces, so many voices, laughter and yelling, I felt as if I will be lost in a crowd of uncaring passerby. I felt almost guilty for the guy. "Let's go…?" Gou said. I nodded and called for a cab. "To the Keio Plaza Hotel please." I told the driver. God, one of my memories popped up again. We were going to the carnival. I thought they finally want me back again. I smiled and had so much fun. They smiled back at me and took me to as many rides as I wanted. I truly enjoyed it. I took mom's and dad's hands. I felt them flinch but when I looked up they were just smiling. Then I saw the merry go round. I wanted to ride it with them. "Let's go there."

I pointed to the ever circling horses. "Sorry, but mommy has motion sickness and daddy is tired from so many rides; you go on okay? We will wait for you here." I ran to the line. I looked back they were smiling at me, waving that they were there. I trusted that they will stay and wait, so I didn't look back again. Naru and Gou looked at me sadly. I clenched my tiny hands into a fist. I know by the time I look back again they will be gone. I didn't look at their direction…afraid they are gone. I knew deep down that they will leave me. I wanted….for just…a while to think that we were a happy family…that they want me…that they love me… I rode a beautiful black horse with blue like clouds underneath him. "Take me away for a while please, somewhere far. So I could forget again, just for a moment." I told the horse.

We rode round and around. I let myself be cradled by the never ending music tune that repeats itself so many times. I hugged the horse's neck. Softly, that on one will hear me or see me, I cried. My little spirits hugged me. I held them in my arms like a mother will do to their beloved babies. Sooner than I wanted it to be, the ride ended. "Thank you." I whispered to the plastic horse. "Maybe I'll see you again. When we do…take me somewhere far away, okay?" I looked at where my mom and dad were supposed to be. They were gone. I walked towards the sea of giant people. I didn't know where I was going. I couldn't see because all I saw where peoples waists. I tried to walk on my tip toes but it was no good. Gou flew up in the sky and had directed me out. So many people, laughter, yelling, crying...happy people that I envied, I bit my lip, trying not to cry. My house was a city away so I asked a nearby police man for help.

The kind police man carried me to the police station. He asked me what happened, I lied to him. "I lost them. I was running off on my own and I lost them." "You shouldn't do that anymore okay? Your parents are probably so worried right now." He said. 'Oh really, I bet…tch…' I thought to myself sourly. In the end they had to pick me up in the police station. They held their apologies and put on their perfect act. For the first time, when we were driving back home, they glared and insulted me. "Wow, you sure are smart. No wonder, you really are my son…more like an ugly pest." Dad growled. 'Now, now…Aoi isn't a pest dear…he is a mistake that shouldn't exist. Even insects have their important purpose…_**he **_clearly does not have one." Mom replied to him. "No wonder I married you, such a smart woman."

I blinked my eyes, erasing the memory. I plugged in my headphones to my phone and played the Linkin Park station from Pandora. The first song I heard was 'Mockingbird' by Eminem. Damn, how fucking _**ironic.**_ Stupid Pandora! I hit the next button. Finally, a suitable song 'Break' by Three Days Grace, now that's a song. I closed my eyes and waited for the taxi to reach the hotel. When we arrived the doorman opened the door and someone else took my luggage. I walked straight to the lobby. Many eyes were cast upon me. I walked with ease, breaking away from their holding gazes. They stared, no one calling after me, no one stopping me, everyone out of my way and attending to themselves. I am an unapproachable beauty, like a mirage you can never touch. I am always distant. I've always kept to myself. For that I didn't have any friends.

It wasn't me initially; in the first place, they were the one who cast me off. In high school I was always on the rumors. No one talked to me, no one got in my way, no one tried to reach me, no one…I was all alone to be a lonely prince, or so they call me. They watch me from afar, keeping their distance, a beautiful yet untouchable mirage…a **_lonely_ prince**. How befitting for the character such as myself. _"__Excuse me, I am Aoi Yoru. I have already filled for a reservation." _I spoke to their native tongue. I had wanted to go to Japan almost all my life so learning and knowing their language was a must. I smiled to the woman. I saw her blush. _"__Uh…yes, Mr. Yoru, your room has been prepared. It's a suite room yes?" _She re-confirmed. I nodded. _"__He'll show you to your room. If you want anything, please just ask. Thank you for staying here in Keio Plaza Hotel."_ She spoke with much professionalism. _"__Thanks." _I replied.

When I got my room, I noticed that my stuff was already there. I tipped the worker and they left me to my devices. I rested for a while. It was already late. Naru and Gou were playing around, looking around the extravagant room. It was well furnished. I looked out the window that covered the whole wall. The city lights were on. I was very pretty. I looked up to the sky. There was no moon…and there weren't any stars. "Let's go out for dinner." I announced. "Yes!" They jumped in joy…well; they were jumping up and down on the bed. I smiled. "Are you okay now?" They asked in unison. I smiled and nodded. They doubted me but they still nodded back at me. Of course I'm fine. "What do you want?" I asked the two. "Since its Japan let's go have sushi!" Gou yelled. I chuckled at his simplicity. I already had bought a bike when I planned this one way trip. "Okay, sushi it is. Let's go get my bike first. It should be a beauty."

The bike was very satisfactory. I leaped into the monster and installed the key, turning it to power. It roared to life, sending shivers down my spine. "Let's go for a drive." I laughed maniacally. _"__Arigatou!"_ I yelled to the dealer because I was already going. I sped to the live streets. Gou was riding in between the handles, clearly enjoying the fast vehicle, shouting gibberish in glee. Naru on the other hand were tightly clutching on to me. He was sitting on my lap. Then, Gou made a little stunt that almost gave the other spirit a heart attack. The wind spirit let go and flew out of the bike. "GOU!" Naru panicked. "Hahahaha…got you!" He laughed, flying after us. I shook my head at his little prank. If it was Naru I would stop dead and go after him but it was Gou we were talking about. He was a little pranking wind spirit, he can fly. When he got back on the bike Naru had his fill with him. He punched the wind spirit with his chibi fists. I laughed at the two. We have our new beginning. I can finally let go and move on. "TO OUR NEW LIFE!" I yelled cheerfully to the roaring wind.

* * *

**SOOOOOO? What do you think? It's just a little sneak peek of his past and character. His new life doesn't really begin until tomorrow or should I say the next chapter. Please stand by and wait. Review if you like it. If you don't please review anyways, and say good things even though it maybe sarcastic... Okay that's all. I'm tired...**


End file.
